You hear it everyday. People losing babies. Miscarrying to be specific. Jon and I have joined that very group of people. This week our 2nd baby went to heaven. I didn't think I would want to write about this as it has been heart wrenching. But this is a way of healing - we need to talk about the good and the bad in this life.
Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?
We were expecting our 2nd baby on Valentines day. We were going to announce the next miracle on our blog, like I did with Chloe. But instead, Little Baby Addington #2 - Chloe's sidekick went to heaven on 6/10/2014. We ache to our core. We ache because we know what we have missed out on. We ache because we will never hold that child. We ache. . .because we lost our miracle.
Through the anger and the hurt, and the complete brokenness, I feel the gentle beat of my heart - it feels weaker than before. A small piece of my heart now sits in heaven.
We're going to take some time as a little family to get back on our feet. For now we are just being still...grieving quietly. . .but like a friend of mine told me less than a year ago "I'm not okay now, but I will be".
Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?
